The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Reviewed- Day 6- The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)

A young woman dies whilst giving birth at her place of work which is a slaughterhouse. Her unscrupulous boss dumps the newborn child in an industrial wastebin outside where he is discovered and rescued by Luda Mae Hewitt who names the child Thomas…And that’s as much as I can bear to type. I hate prequels. …

Continue reading The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Reviewed- Day 6- The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)

The Texas Chainsaw Massscre Reviewed- Day 5- The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

Five teens are travelling from Mexico to Dallas for a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert when the hitchhiker they pick up blows her brains out in their van. They then go to report it but encounter ‘the family’ on the way. If you're travelling to go and see Lynyrd Skynyrd rather than Lou Reed in the early …

Continue reading The Texas Chainsaw Massscre Reviewed- Day 5- The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Reviewed- Day 4- The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1995)

Two prom night couples accidentally crash into a car and then cross paths with you know who when they go for help for the driver of the hit car. The Next Generation was directed by Kim Henkel who wrote the original. This entry ranges from mildly interesting (the first ten minutes) through to generic tedium …

Continue reading The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Reviewed- Day 4- The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1995)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Reviewed- Day 3- Leatherface- The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 (1990)

I remember having a poster of Leatherface which came free with an issue of Gorezone. I asked my teacher if I could put it on my school common room wall which got a muted reaction to say the least. Here, a couple who are travelling through Texas take a wrong turn and…you can guess the …

Continue reading The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Reviewed- Day 3- Leatherface- The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 (1990)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Reviewed- Day 2- The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 (1986)

The first time I found out that there was a sequel to The Texas Chain Saw Massacre was when I was going through the racks of records in Track Records in York, where I grew up (York, not the record store, although I spent a lot of time there). I pored over the artwork and …

Continue reading The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Reviewed- Day 2- The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 (1986)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Reviewed- Day 1- The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

I first saw this classic when I was a late teen, studying for my A-levels at college in 1994. My friend taped this for me on the same tape as Last House on the Left. With it being copied from a copy, the picture and audio were crappy, but somehow this added to the experience …

Continue reading The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Reviewed- Day 1- The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

Amityville Reviewed- Day 17- Amityville: No Escape (2016)

Another found footage Amityville entry. This has two stories taking place in two separate time periods. This bears all of the components for Amityville franchise entries of this era- namely it’s boring, has a mercifully short running time and is a good cure for insomnia. Again, this is terrible. And what makes it worse is …

Continue reading Amityville Reviewed- Day 17- Amityville: No Escape (2016)

Amityville Reviewed- Day 16- The Amityville Terror (2016)

From IMDB- ‘When a new family moves to an old house in Amityville, they are tormented and tortured by an evil spirit living in the home while trapped by the malicious townspeople who want to keep them there.’ So, this doesn’t look like it was shot on a phone, feels like an actual film and …

Continue reading Amityville Reviewed- Day 16- The Amityville Terror (2016)

Amityville Reviewed- Day 15- The Amityville Legacy (2016)

A sinister toy monkey from the Amityville house finds its way to a Nebraska household (!) and possesses a father just in time for a family reunion. This cinematic non-entity also goes by the title Amityville Toybox. Please ignore both. Another dreadful shot on video affair that has only one saving grace- it’s just over …

Continue reading Amityville Reviewed- Day 15- The Amityville Legacy (2016)

Amityville Reviewed- Day 14- Amityville: Vanishing Point (2016)

Residents of a boarding house suspect supernatural forces at play when their friend dies in mysterious circumstances. I guessed the type of film this would be within a few seconds of the start of this opus. This is yet another shot-on-video effort, with no suspense, no likeable characters you can actually root for, and no …

Continue reading Amityville Reviewed- Day 14- Amityville: Vanishing Point (2016)