Ever wondered which movies I love to watch over the Christmas season? No?! Well, I’m going to tell you anyway! Christmas film fun doesn’t have to be boring mainstream fare like It’s A Wonderful Life or any of the other ‘traditional’ family fare. It can also be Yuletide-themed messed up horror movies, hallucinatory Canadian children’s films and a movie sequel that is so outlandish that it stopped a film franchise dead in its tracks AND stars Micheal Caine. And, yes, it is a Christmas movie!

10. Better Watch Out (2016)

I first saw this movie and was having a splendid time when suddenly everything changes, and the movie dramatically morphs into something much nastier. Any film that dares to dramatically change course midway through its running time is either brave, foolhardy or maybe even both. I’m not going to ruin the surprise, but what I will say is that Better Watch Out is one of the darkest, funniest and most ingenious horror films I’ve seen in a long time.

9. Gremlins (1984)

Is Gremlins a Christmas film? Is it a horror film? Yes is the answer to both questions, whilst it’s also so much more. It encompasses and straddles many different genres and fulfils them effortlessly whilst also subverting them. Joe Dante is one hell of a director. Of note here is also the soundtrack, which is just as brilliant as the film itself. Is Gremlins an allegory for children as they enter the ‘terrible twos’? Could be! This is demented fun. Stripe is one of my heroes.

8. The Snowman (1982)

This animated film is as mainstream as I’ll go when it comes to Christmas fare, and that’s because it’s so brilliantly made, is genuinely moving and never fails to make me feel like a child again. Watching this takes me back to being 7 years old and watching it when it first premiered on TV here in the UK. Magical. There’s a reason why this is universally loved. David Bowie was involved with the making of this epic.

7. Trading Places (1983)

Take a cast to die for (Eddie Murphy, Dan Ackroyd, Jamie Lee Curtis, Denholm Elliott, Ralph Bellamy, Don Ameche…), pair them with a film director (John Landis) who is arguably at the peak of his powers and place them in a film in which almost every line of dialogue is laugh out loud hilarious. There’s a huge streak of dark, sick humour in Trading Places that is utterly irresistible. This movie was the fourth highest-grossing film in America in 1983, and for great reason.

6. Jaws: The Revenge (1987)

This is the movie that most people don’t know is actually a Christmas film. But it is, I swear! I love any sequel that is so batshit crazy that it can completely stop a franchise dead. A great white shark rips off the arm of one of the Brady children, Ellen then goes with her remaining family members to The Bahamas and finds that the same shark has followed them there and is hellbent on killing the rest of her brood. This makes no sense whatsoever (the film’s novelization tried to explain that some kind of voodoo was involved, but this is just as bonkers as no explanation), and that is part of the fun. What’s more- Michael Caine stars! He couldn’t accept an Academy Award for Hannah and Her Sisters because he was filming this opus. When asked if he had seen Jaws: The Revenge, he admitted that he hadn’t but loved the house that it bought him. Now that’s style. There’s just been a 4K Blu-Ray of this movie released, and it’s gorgeous.

5. A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)

I first saw that made-for-TV cartoon, unsurprisingly, on TV in the 80’s. In fact, I think I saw all of the Charlie Brown specials on TV, and hence, there is a nostalgia that fuels my love of them. But on rewatching this recently, I can see that this isn’t something that I loved as a kid but is terrible when I rewatched it as a jaded adult, as it’s an absolute gem. All of the Peanuts gang are here, and I’m suspicious of anyone who doesn’t love them. There’s also substance here with Charlie hating the encroaching holiday season as it reeks of commercialism. I feel your pain, Charlie. This received huge ratings when it was first televised, and critics were falling over themselves to laud it with great reviews. As so they should. This has aged like a fine (mulled) wine.

4. Christmas Evil (1980)

I first learnt of this film because John Waters raves about it. I finally got to see it at the cinema, no less, in Sydney, Australia, as it was playing with Black Christmas (more about this later). A small child sees Santa pleasuring his mother and grows up to become an adult obsessed with him. He’s also obsessed with those who he has deemed as being ‘good’ and those who are deemed as being ‘bad’. And by Christ, the bad will pay for their transgressions. He goes on a killing spree dressed as his hero. Christmas Evil is a great slasher, and the ending could *possibly* have influenced the most iconic scene from E.T. Seriously! No Christmas is complete without Christmas Evil.

3. Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)

Have you heard the one about the slasher film that was released the same week as the original A Nightmare on Elm Street and beat it at the box office but was then banned outright after a moral panic organised by angry mothers? No?! That’s the story of Silent Night, Deadly Night, and it goes to show that the soccer mom Mary Whitehouses wouldn’t know high art if they fell over it. Great kills, a brilliant tongue-in-cheek humour and a script that goes the extra mile when it comes to extreme Christmas horror action. This film does for Catholic orphanages what Jaws did for sharks.

2. The Christmas Martian (1971)

This Canadian-made-for-kids TV movie was shown on Yorkshire TV in 1984, and thankfully, I was in front of my television set to bask in its glory. Whatever substances the makers of this mind-altering classic were on, I’d like some. In fact, I’d like a double dose. I’d outline the plot, but I don’t even know where to begin except to say that some kids discover a spaceship in Northern Quebec, and then the crazy shit starts to happen. I knew I was in for a treat when the alien being is shown to leave green footprints in the snow. His name is Poo Flower (!) The Christmas Martian was one of many cracked pieces of art that contributed to me becoming the insane adult who is typing this. Vinegar Syndrome has just released a Blu-Ray of this classic which I need to buy.

1. Black Christmas (1974)

I first saw this film on my own over the Christmas period when all of my housemates had left for the holidays. I thought it wouldn’t be too scary and watched it one afternoon. It scared the shit out of me. There so much here that is so unhinged and acts as perfect nightmare fuel- the threatening phone calls (cut from the original UK release as they were deemed to be too extreme), the backdrop of young women being attacked by an attacker in the immediate area, the killer already being in the sorority house something that the audience knows but the film’s characters don’t (this isn’t a spoiler as it’s established within the film very early on), the actual kills themselves…The cast is excellent, with such luminaries as Olivia Hussey, Margot Kidder, Andrea Martin, Keir Dullea and John Saxon being cast members. The eye seen in a crack in the door is one of the scariest moments in horror history. Black Christmas, along with Halloween and The Exorcist, are the horror movies which have scared me the most over the years. You’ll think about this film when you’re on your own at night, trust me.