From IMDB- ‘Two siblings cursed in prehistoric times survive for millennia by feasting on the entrails of young people, prowling in what eventually becomes a park in contemporary Los Angeles.’

My initial thought on viewing this film is, ‘What the hell have I just watched?!’

This is probably the only time I’ll see a screen caption that says ‘12,000 Years Earlier’. I loved the credit stating ‘Introducing Linnea Quigley’. This was the film that unleashed this fantastic woman’s talents onto the world of cult cinema.

Don’t Go Near The Park feels like two films edited together. There was a point in the film when I just had to let go of the notion that the plot made any kind of sense and so I just sat back and let what was happening in the movie just wash over me.

The kills are vicious with victims being torn open and feasted upon. What makes this uncomfortable however, is that some of the victims are children.

But, that’s not all that’s uncomfortable. The narrative goes into some VERY problematic areas, some of which are almost brushed off in the film. If anyone has seen this film already, they’ll remember the scene involving a brother and his sister who is asleep on the couch. How this was made and how it remained in the film is unbelieveable. If you know, you know (and are grimacing at the memory).

I’ve read reviews of Don’t Go Near The Park that state that it’s boring. I certainly wouldn’t describe it as that. It’s a headtrip of a movie on every level. Some levels I didn’t really want to experience though.

2 out of 5 stars