The film starts with a lone female arriving at Camp Crystal Lake and inevitably, being stalked by Jason. The chase between the two of them continues outside in the woods when suddenly in a clearing, lights come on and numerous members of the army and National Guard fire everything they have at Jason, blowing his body to smithereens. His beating heart remains though. Jason continues to possess and attempt to possess secondary characters throughout the film (via a worm- don’t ask!) who kill for him as he takes over their body and mind.

The first ten minutes of this film are fantastic and I honestly didn’t see that scene coming. I also wondered if the rest of the film would be as action-packed, interesting and invigorated as this opener. It isn’t. It’s dreadful.

I like the local diner selling Jason burgers shaped like his trademark hockey mask but that’s it. The rest is dire. It doesn’t feel like a Friday movie and the makers of this atrocity obviously hadn’t seen Part 5. Fans want Jason, not a set of very boring characters doing his bidding for him. This film also adds to the series mythology by introducing Jason’s sister (she’s called Laurie Strode. Just kidding) who’s the only one who can kill Jason and blah, blah, blah…

Jason Goes To Hell was made by New Line Pictures, home of the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise. If you haven’t guessed what they were thinking, we even get a cameo from Freddy Krueger (or rather his glove), at the end of the movie. There will be a cross-over movie, whether you want it or not. This would happen ten years later (so not long to wait then).

There’s even an Evil Dead reference with the Book of the Dead being featured.

Jason’s head here looks like a huge blob of bubblegum. Is that really how they envisaged him? His head looks like it’s actually devouring his mask.

The plot makes no sense (although fans say the various other cuts of the film add context and much needed missing plot to proceedings. I won’t be investigating these though as I’d rather stick needles into one of my testicles).

The only other good thing is that merch was made that involved pretty good comic books and Topp’s trading cards. Both are better than the actual film and by a country mile.

Only a fool, a completist or an insomniac would watch this wretched film. Stick to the other Friday that has the word ‘final’ in it.

1 out of 5 stars