A young woman finds out she has been left property in Texas in a relative’s will. Her and her friends travel down to check it out. But they encounter more than they banked on (i.e. a chainsaw-wielding psychopath). I somehow didn’t go to see this film when it was released. I think that even with …
Continue reading The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Reviewed- Day 7- Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)
A young woman dies whilst giving birth at her place of work which is a slaughterhouse. Her unscrupulous boss dumps the newborn child in an industrial wastebin outside where he is discovered and rescued by Luda Mae Hewitt who names the child Thomas…And that’s as much as I can bear to type. I hate prequels. …
Another found footage Amityville entry. This has two stories taking place in two separate time periods. This bears all of the components for Amityville franchise entries of this era- namely it’s boring, has a mercifully short running time and is a good cure for insomnia. Again, this is terrible. And what makes it worse is …
Continue reading Amityville Reviewed- Day 17- Amityville: No Escape (2016)
From IMDB- ‘When a new family moves to an old house in Amityville, they are tormented and tortured by an evil spirit living in the home while trapped by the malicious townspeople who want to keep them there.’ So, this doesn’t look like it was shot on a phone, feels like an actual film and …
Continue reading Amityville Reviewed- Day 16- The Amityville Terror (2016)
A sinister toy monkey from the Amityville house finds its way to a Nebraska household (!) and possesses a father just in time for a family reunion. This cinematic non-entity also goes by the title Amityville Toybox. Please ignore both. Another dreadful shot on video affair that has only one saving grace- it’s just over …
Continue reading Amityville Reviewed- Day 15- The Amityville Legacy (2016)
Residents of a boarding house suspect supernatural forces at play when their friend dies in mysterious circumstances. I guessed the type of film this would be within a few seconds of the start of this opus. This is yet another shot-on-video effort, with no suspense, no likeable characters you can actually root for, and no …
Continue reading Amityville Reviewed- Day 14- Amityville: Vanishing Point (2016)
A recently orphaned young woman finds she's been left an old theatre in…Amityville. Strange shit starts to go down. Another cool premise, another missed opportunity. This time around the filmmakers steal the ‘six must die’ premise from John Carpenter’s The Fog. Don't be fooled- this isn't even a thousandth as entertaining as the 1980 masterpiece. …
Continue reading Amityville Reviewed- Day 13- Amityville Playhouse (2015)
From IMDB- ‘A young woman and her friends returning from helping with hurricane relief efforts in Florida stop in the town of Amityville to check in on her sickly grandmother. There they find all is not well as an ancient witch's spirit permeates the whole place. This evil curse threatens to destroy the descendants of …
Continue reading Amityville Reviewed- Day 12- Amityville Death House (2015)
A young woman starts a job as a night-shift custodian at the High Hopes Psychiatric Hospital. The ward she is to look after houses murderers, sadists and cannibals. But it's the seemingly supernatural activities that alarm her the most and cause her to look into the history of the hospital. It's a cool premise but, …
Continue reading Amityville Reviewed- Day 11- The Amityville Asylum (2013)
This cheapo Amityville franchise entry tries to bring the delights of the ‘found footage’ genre to the series. Sounds like it could be an interesting angle, right? Wrong! This, unfortunately (and I did want it to work), doesn’t work on any level except if you’re suffering from insomnia and want the celluloid equivalent of a …
Continue reading Amityville Reviewed- Day 10- The Amityville Haunting (2011)
Meathook Cinema 