Maggie and Ben inherit an old farm by default (the man who it was actually left to had to inhabit the farm within 30 days but we see him attempt to move in in the dead of night but runs his car into a tree after swerving to miss a mysterious girl who intentionally caused the accident which results in the car exploding on impact).
Maggie has a strong feeling that she’s been at the farm before and wonders if a phenomenon such as reincarnation actually exists as she remembers cooking in the farm kitchen, living on the farm and more sinister episodes. This freaks her out as she tells her husband Ben that she doesn’t want to move in even though he is excited at the prospect.
There are quickly established links to witch trials that took place at the farm in years gone by.
For a 1970 horror TV movie, Crowhaven Farm pulls no punches. There are some very taboo aspects to the plot that are just as taboo now as they were back then. With the short running time, the action zips along which adds to the quickly developing insanity of how the plot develops that lends a surreal aspect to proceedings.
As I’ve said before, I hope a Blu ray company invests more in these made for TV gems and releases them looking and sounding as good as they possibly can with tons of extras. There are plenty of these movies to mine into and a horror audience who would gladfully lap them up.
Martin Scorsese’s latest film centres around Frank Sheeran who we first see in a care home for the elderly reminiscing about his life. He recalls his time in World War 2 and then after this lovingly remembers the scam he had when he is working as a meat truck delivery worker (he regularly siphons off some of the contents and sells it to local mafiosi) when he crosses paths with mobster Russell Bufalino who he is then reintroduced to some time later. This proves to be a turning point for his life. It’s through Bufalino that he is introduced to Jimmy Hoffa, teamster and celebrity. This marks another turning point for his life and the film’s narrative.
CGI- the new Botox. The shocking WW2 flashback scene
I had to smile when I saw some of the major players from Scorsese’s canon of masterpieces reunited in this film. It was more than awesome to see De Niro with Joe Pesci and Harvey Keitel again.
But there are also new actors who more than hold their own. Al Pacino is predictably brilliant and it’s great to see such a legendary actor under the direction of such a masterful director. Stephen Graham shows that he’s just as brilliant in a Hollywood film as he is within the quality TV productions that he’s starred in here in the UK.
There has been much made of Anna Paquin only speaking six words in a three and a half hour film. When you see the film you’ll see why. Her looks and mannerisms throughout the film convey much more than lines and lines of dialogue as her role is akin to some kind of silent but all seeing sense of conscience or moral judge regarding her father’s dastardly deeds that she knows are happening even if he tries to disguise them to convey himself as a honest working man. Instead of basking in fake outrage (are we really getting to a point where numbers of words uttered by male and female characters will be tallied up and compared when it comes to movies?! Are we really getting that ridiculous?) how about thinking what an amazing actress she is that she can turn in such a genuinely awe-inspiring performance by just using her facial expressions alone and what is implied rather than said out loud. Y’know, by using her acting skills and stuff! There should be a mention here regarding how brilliant Lucy Gallina is as Peggy between the ages of 7 and 11.
A woman of few words- because she doesn’t need many. Anna Paquin’s terrific performance
This movie is a sprawling epic that spans 1945 to 1990. The narrative shoots forward and backwards through time so effortlessly and effectively that it reminded me of Once Upon A Time In America (thankfully theres no panpipe music in this movie though). With this kind of timeframe being used it’s been widely reported that Scorsese used CGI to make the leading characters look younger in some scenes. Whilst this can be noticed in the first couple of scenes in which this device is used, it blends into the movie as a whole and is quickly forgotten about as the viewer gets used to it. It also becomes unnoticeable because the film is so captivating for the viewer.
There was a point early on in this film that felt very familiar. There is a bar setting with an old 60’s hit playing over the soundtrack whilst a plethora of mobster types are doing their thing. I thought to myself ‘Oh God, I hope this doesn’t turn into a GoodFellas clone.’ I remembered the good but not great Casino feeling like ‘GoodFellas Go To Vegas’. But The Irishman doesn’t play out like this. It’s a film that quickly veers into new territory plot wise whilst exploring themes such as age, reflection, mortality (on many levels) and how choosing to live such a thoroughly deplorable life whilst hiding under a veneer of respectability can impact the loved ones of the people who have chosen to take the dark path.
I was lucky enough to see this on the big screen yet it was a very uncomfortable experience. The movie is 3 and a half hours long and whilst it’s an amazing ride it’s a painful experience in a cinema seat. My aching posterior was so bad through the second half of the running time that I felt that I was wriggling around more than an eel. But the length of the film was probably intentional for Scorsese as this was made for Netflix- home of the ‘binge watch’ to be watched in the comfort of your home on the comfort of your sofa.
One more touch that I loved about the movie were the captions that accompanied each new secondary character as it stated his name and how/when he died.
This movie might end up in the Guinness Book of Records also as I don’t think I’ve heard the word ‘c*cksucker’ used so much in one movie before. This is a great accolade in my book.
The Irishman is a cracking movie. Fans of Scorsese will love this, as will fans of intelligent and innovative filmmaking. There will be several raised eyebrows as to the level of poignancy that the film holds. Which again makes me think of Once Upon A Time In America in that the audience is made to feel sympathy towards a character who the film has shown to have committed some heinous acts.
Sunday nights in the late 70’s/early 80’s here in the UK were great for TV. In my household we’d religiously watch That’s Life, a weird hotchpotch of hard hitting investigations into very dark subject matters with lighter fare which was designed to make the audience titter and guffaw (they loved vegetables that just happened to be shaped like genitalia). Going from a hard-hitting expose to a carrot shaped like a penis was sometimes very inappropriate but it worked somehow. This was all presided over by the ultra-camp Esther Rantzen (sometimes wearing a mumu).
Esther in a mumu
After that was The Professionals, a very masculine (and thus, very camp) crime/action series tellingly made by the same company who made The New Avengers. These have now been reissued on Blu ray and are well worth seeking out. I fancied Lewis Collins like crazy.
The butch camp of The Professionals. Lewis Collins on the right *blush*
Last, but certainly not least, there was Tales of the Unexpected. This gem of a series told a different story every week and each episode was introduced by Roald Dahl. You may have heard of Dahl as the writer of Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, Matilda and other classic children’s books. But he also wrote short stories for adults, many of which were very dark and had a twist in the tail. And that’s precisely what this series was based on. Most episodes were written by Dahl but not all. He introduced each episode from what appeared to be his favourite comfy chair in front of a roaring fire. His introductions were just as brilliant as the stories themselves. And these tales were executed (pardon the pun) very well indeed- in fact, a bit too well.
This programme was the last thing I saw every Sunday night before going to bed. I remember not sleeping most Sunday nights because of this and Mondays at school being very tiring affairs.
A number of the episodes of Tales of the Unexpected have stayed with me as they terrified me as a child. I bought a boxset containing all of the episodes recently and can report that they still terrify me.
The opening credit sequence was enough to have me cowering behind the sofa. Creepy organ and saxophone music that sounded like the ultimate in sleaze and menace. Over this were images of silhouetted dancing naked women, guns, lion-like gargoyle faces, tarot cards and skulls. Nothing traumatising there for a 5 year old boy. The woman dancing in front of the flames was later referenced in the video for Cities In Dust by Siouxsie and the Banshees (as if Siouxsie couldn’t be cooler- she then shows she’s a fan of this TV programme).
The dancing woman from the opening credits made the front of the DVD collection
Siouxsie’s homage
I’ll recommend the two episodes that freaked me out the most. Firstly, theres The Flypaper written by Elizabeth Taylor (no, not that one). A schoolgirl who doesn’t feel like she fits in is preoccupied with other stuff going in her life when she quickly comprehends that the accidental stranger on her bus in fact being a bit too over-friendly and overfamiliar with her. She decides to get off the bus to try to get away from him. And that’s all I’m telling! When this was transmitted here in the UK it seemed like kids were going missing every other week. This grim tale reflected what was going on in society at that time all too well.
The second is Galloping Foxley. A man on a train recognises the bully who regularly beat and humiliated him at boarding school. The young Foxley is played by the always brilliant Jonathan Scott-Taylor from Damian: Omen 2. I went to private school myself after passing an exam which was designed to allow poorer families to send their ‘academically gifted’ children there without having to pay the hefty fees. Whilst I experienced no bullying or brutality from my fellow peers, I did very quickly pick up on how oppressive the actual system was, the teachers especially. I started within this system in 1986- the same year that corporal punishment was outlawed in all schools in the UK. My timing was impeccable! I could see that the angriest teachers hated this decision and would rather have been inflicting some kind of painful punishment out on us for some real, imagined or fabricated misdemeanour. Friends have told me about when they went to school in the days of such physical punishment and were themselves beaten. One friend tells me of his time at a strict Catholic school where they were beaten with a studded leather strap. If they didn’t say ‘thank you’ after their beatings they would be beaten some more.
Prefect and anti-Christ
To me the best horror comes from the unembellished factual accounts from people’s lives. Truth is stranger than fiction. And sometimes a lot more warped and fucked up.
Please peruse these two episodes but proceed with caution. They aren’t for the fainthearted. For more episodes click here.
The other half of a double-bill in UK cinemas with the other film being the far better The Incredible Melting Man. This was actually made for television in America.
Killer bees have flown into America and are claiming their first casualties disturbingly close to New Orleans when their Mardi Gras is due to kick off. A bee expert (of course) and a guy who isn’t quite a coroner yet (so he isn’t taken seriously) are on the case but come up against obstacles in the form of sniffy officials who don’t want to see Mardi Gras cancelled- at any cost (hints of Murray Hamilton’s character in Jaws here).
We learn that the bees don’t like noise and the colours black and red. The first human victim is a coloured girl in a red dress blowing a toy horn. Not her lucky day.
The finale involves Ms Bee Expert being nudged into a sports stadium in her red Beetle which the bees have covered as she was earlier using the horn near them (doh!). The temperature of the Super Dome is then lowered as the bees die when temperatures reach below 35 Degrees Fahrenheit. This sequence is very unexpected and works well with tension being ramped up as the temperatures come down (we see this on huge displays which show the actual countdown).
This is an above average TV movie which received a video release in some territories. There aren’t enough action sequences and some of the more talky bits are quite pedestrian. But when it gets going its quite exciting. Because I saw it on TV when I was a small child and loved it then it will always hold a special place in my little black heart.
Look out for the scene in which someone in fancy dress tries to take on the bees with a sword. Yes, a sword!
Small town vigilantes wrongly accuse a mentally challenged man of attacking and killing a little girl. It turns out he didn’t attack her but saved her from a neighbour’s vicious dog. The vigilantes find this out just after killing the innocent man who is disguised as a scarecrow. Oops. When the local courts offer no justice, the vigilantes start getting bumped off one by one.
This is actually a TV movie and is a cracker. It built up a cult following amongst horror fans and is one of the best horror TV movies ever made.
The film feels authentic and depicts the bloodthirsty lynchmob really well. We see during the course of the film that these people are the true simpletons of the piece. We also see that a group of people who are desperate for violence and maybe more don’t need any justification for it. Its also interesting that the members of the lynch mob are all depicted as being fine upstanding members of the community (the postman, mechanic, farmer etc) whilst being completely hellbent on inflicting their lawless brand of ‘justice’ on someone whos just a bit different.
This film has a great cast that is like a whos who for horror fans. As well as Larry Drake from Tales From The Crypt, Charles Durning who amongst other things was in When a Stranger Calls, John Houseman from the original Hills Have Eyes and Ed Call who played Glen’s (Johnny Depp) father in A Nightmare on Elm Street.
The tension in certain scenes is built up to nailbiting levels and the direction and screenplay are top notch. This is the perfect example of a TV movie that was so great that it transcended its medium and was given a VHS and DVD release. And deservedly so. This is brilliant.
Whilst most Christmas based media is sentimental bilge there are nuggets that are worth hunting out.
View Meathook Cinemas guide to Mondo Christmas. Brace yourself for festive horror, glam rock Christmas messages and LSD inspired Yuletide childrens movies. And much, much more…
As some of you may know I’m a huge Prisoner Cell Block H fan. I actually think its the best TV series ever made. If you’re into cult film, cult TV or video nasties/exploitation cinema then chances are you’ll love Prisoner.
I’ve just made a video documenting some of the most outrageous moments from the series.
All the juicy stuff is present and correct- drugs, lynchings, murders and brandings. Theres even a sequence that will have you shaking your head in disbelief.
The videos here. But beware- its not for the faint hearted!
Least not because of the terrifying Public information Films being shown at all hours of the day.
Whilst there will be a Meathook Cinema Top 10 video of these at a later date heres a video I’ve made of the scariest firework safety videos I saw as a kid.
Heard of Shudder? Its a bit like Netflix for lunatics with all of the content being horror. Not a rom-com in sight!
Its now launched in the UK and the choice of films is immense! Exclusive content includes Mattie Do’s Dearest Sister, which recently screened at the BFI London Film Festival, and French mini-series Beyond The Walls, which screened at this year’s Horror Channel FrightFest. Other exclusive titles include Sadako Vs Kayako, Rob Zombie’s 31, supernatural drama We Go On, Nathan Ambrosioni’s Therapy and Alex De La Iglesia’s Witching And Bitching.
There are also old classics to choose from. Shudders press release says that ‘In addition, SHUDDER hosts an expertly curated library of hard to find titles and genre gems including Donald Cammell’s WHITE OF THE EYE and Jorg Buttgereit’s NEKROMANTIK which appear ONLY ON SHUDDER alongside stone cold classics from the HAMMER vaults and, for the first time on a streaming service and exclusive to SHUDDER, Clive Barker’s iconic HELLRAISER & HELLRAISER 2.’
SHUDDER’s catalogue is available on Shudder’s website, mobile apps for iOS and Android users, Chromecast, the Roku platform and Apple TV. Theres a free one week-trial or £4.99 monthly/ £49.99 yearly membership, and more platforms being added in the months after launch.
meathookcinema.com 