I remember going to see this back in the day and walking out halfway through. Will I make it through this film this time? Will I feel the same as I did back in 2003?
Well, yes I did (somehow) watch it all the way to the end. And yes, I feel the same as I did way back when.
This no-brainer feels like prior to filming someone told director Ronny Yu what happens in the Nightmare on Elm Street series and then what happens in the Friday the 13th series as he hadn’t seen any of the films. He then made a movie. A big budget, CGI laden shitfest.
I hate that they didn’t use Kane Hodder. I hate that they didn’t use Betsy Palmer. I hate that they DID use Kelly Rowland. Could her ‘acting’ career be as putrid as her ‘music’? Erm, yep!. And did she have to use the ‘F’ word in a line that apparently she ad-libbed? It was great watching her die.
This film was made for fanboys rather than fans of either series. A fanboy of F13th and NOES will love anything that has Freddy or Jason in it regardless of quality (like the Halloween fans who like any of the sequels after Part 3). A fan of the series will know the films, characters and plots of a franchise inside out and even try to establish a timeline even when this isn’t strictly possible.
New Line wanted a big, dumb multiplex movie that would attract huge audiences and take in megabucks. They got their wish.
1 out of 5 stars