On Christmas Eve, Marc, a singer and performer who plays at old people’s homes finds himself stranded when his van/mobile home breaks down. A creepy innkeeper, still dealing with his wife leaving him, comes to his rescue.

Warning- this film is Belgian. They do horror and ‘weird’ very differently from everyone else.

The problem I have with Fabrice Du Welz’s film is that it tries way too hard and throws too much into the mix rather than streamlining just a few ideas which are genuinely terrifying.

I also get the kind of ground Calvaire is trying to mine down into and examine- when horror becomes so surrealistic and messed up that it becomes blackly funny. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre triumphed here (and in everything it aimed at). Calvaire doesn’t. There were several times later in the film when my attention turned to eye rolls and incredulity. Pig on a leash, anyone?

Another huge issue is that I just didn’t feel anything towards a lead character who is neither engaging nor likeable.

This has whetted my appetite for Belgian horror that works though.

2 out of 5 stars